ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
