So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You pole danced in your parka.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
