He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
