Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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