He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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