it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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