im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
