Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize