Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
