Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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