May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
