She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
