I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Randomize