But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
