If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
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it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
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Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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