the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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