..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you still have your period?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
