Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
