Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
