I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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