That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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