so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
