you would pick up someone in the library
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
