So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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