She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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