During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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