Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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