Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
