whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Oh god it's open bar.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
