You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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