I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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