Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
