I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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