It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize