YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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