People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
