ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just pee around me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize