Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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