everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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