ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize