My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
