Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
