lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
