it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
