Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
