The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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