i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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