The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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