Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
