Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize