plz talk dirty to me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She announced her abortion via fbk
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize