That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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