I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
