Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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