I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
