So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
