your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
