check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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