Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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