i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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