Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
